What a Day!!

WOW!!!! Today was such a roller coaster of emotions, I don't even know where to start! I guess I could just take you through the day we had and the emotions as they came... Or, better yet, let me start with the simplest things and work my way up to the big story of the day!

First, Matt had his first follow-up appointment with his new primary care doctor today. He told us the final biopsy results. They said that his liver issues were definitely induced my medicine. They are blaming the doxycycline he took for his leg infection before he ever went to the ER. (He was also given some while he was in the hospital on 2 different occasions.) So, that was a relief to know that the liver damage should correct itself, and there should not be any lifelong effects from it. This was a good thing!

Second, his primary care doctor wants him on the blood thinners for 3 months. At that time, we will probably do another scan to see if the blood clot is gone or if it is still there. If it isn't gone, he will have to stay on blood thinners longer. But, if it is gone, he will be done. We have heard several different time frames from different doctors about the blood thinners, and 3 months is the shortest one we've heard. Even though the clot could still be there after 3 months, it is still good news that we can recheck after 3 months instead of having to wait 6 months! It is also good news that, because of where his clot is, even if it dislodged, it wouldn't be fatal. It would still cause a ton of problems, but he would start having symptoms. We could go back to the doctor and they could treat him. It's not like a clot in your leg that can travel to your heart, lungs, or brain and kill you. So, that was good news, too!

The bloodwork they sent off after they found the clot is still not back yet. They were running tests to try to determine the cause of the clot. They are looking for genetic disorders or blood diseases that could make him prone to getting blood clots. Although they say it's unlikely that he could have a genetic disorder and not find out about it until he's 38, they also say it's highly unlikely that he would develop the clot as a complication of the liver biopsy. So, we are anxiously awaiting the results of the labs. Not finding out was a little disappointing. We are now hoping to have the results Friday when he has a follow-up appointment with the liver doctor. We are praying that this is a one-time thing, and that he does not have any kind of disease or disorder that would make the blood thinners a lifelong thing!

They also did new bloodwork today to check the levels of the blood thinning medication in his blood today. We have to call in the morning to get those results. If they are OK, he gets to stop giving himself shots twice a day! He will only have to take a pill once a day. We thought we were going to find out that answer today as well. So, we are a little nervous about those results. We are definitely praying that the shots can be a thing of the past!!!

We did find our today that Worker's Comp is actually going to cover all of these medical expenses!!! YAY!!!! They are also going to give Matt his time back, which is good since he was almost out of days!! God definitely stepped in on this one, because before today, they really weren't acting like they wanted to accept responsibility for all of this! We thought we were staring bankruptcy square in the eye, but now his medical expenses will be covered! We are PRAISING God for this one!!!

So....now I get to the biggest development of the day, and the one that has led us on the biggest emotional journey today. Kind of a long story, so bear with me!

Eighteen months ago, Matt got some wood lodged in his leg while serving a warrant at work. It got infected, so he went to the doctor. They gave him doxycycline and bactrim to treat it. He started feeling sick right away after starting the antibiotics. He went back to the doctor, and they discontinued the doxycycline. They put him on a different antibiotic, the infection went away, and he was fine. Fast forward to a month ago. The infection came back. He went back to same doctor because it was Worker's Comp. He was prescribed doxycycline and bactrim. After 2 days, Matt started feeling sick. He endured it for a week because it was happening over the Thanksgiving holoday. After 8 days on the antbiotics, while he was at a follow-up appointment, he told the doctor he hadn't been feeling weel and that something wasn't right. The doctor told him it could be a reaction to the doxy, but that he only had 2 days left, and if he could stand it, it would be best to finish it. So, Matt finished it. This follow-up appointment was on Tuesday. I took him to the ER on Friday. You know what happened from that point forward. But, today...the game changed...

For something completely unrelated, Matt had requested his complete medical records from this clinic in early November. They came just before he got sick, but we had never opened them. Today I heard him talking on the phone about how he remembered that the first time he had the leg infection, they had started him on one medicine but discontinued it. So, I went and found the envelope. I was curious what medicine it was. I started reading through the paperwork and was stunned when I read the notation that Matt had an adverse reaction to doxycycline 18 months ago. The clinic added it to his allergy list in their system, but never told Matt he was allergic to it. They just told him he wasn't tolerating it well, so they were changing it. From that day forward, it was written on every form from that clinic as an allergy. BUT...when he went there a month ago, they prescribed it to him anyway! AND when he went back complaining that he wasn't feeling well, they told him to keep taking it!!

This is where my emotional roller coaster comes in! My first reaction was one of shock. You mean they knew he was allergic to this and gave it to him anyway? But, then my I started thinking about it and was actually relieved. We left the hospital with only the speculation that his illness was medicine-induced since we didn't have the final biopsy results back. But, those results combined with my discovery about the allergy made me feel relieved that this was not caused by something they just couldn't find, and this is not something that will come back in the future. It's done, he's should get better, Stephanie finally exhales! However, my relief soon gave way to anger...and I mean real, raw, intense anger! Some stupid doctor missed ONE line on his chart and that caused all of this????? I'm not even a doctor, and I am smart enough to know that if a patient is allergic to something, you DON'T give it to them!! This stupid little mistake put my family through hell for 4 weeks! And, we aren't even done yet!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? I spent a good portion of my day being angry!! Everyone we talked to about it today mentioned a lawsuit, but I'm going to be honest, and you probably won't believe me. All I could think was that if that doctor would have just checked Matt's allergies in their system, none of this would have happened. I don't care about lawsuits or malpractice or money. I care about the fact that my husband was in the hospital for 21 days! I slept in chair/bed and missed work for 21 days! Blake cried every time he had to leave the hospital for 21 days! My mom had to live at our house for 21 days! Our lives were turned upside down and we were put through hell because of a stupid oversight! It is infuriating! If the dang doctor would have just done his job, none of this would have happened!

Ironically, just before I discovered this information, I was listening to my Casting Crowns radio on Pandora. A song came on that really spoke to me, as it always does, and I looked it up on YouTube. It is the song, "Saviour, Please" by Josh Wilson. After all of this happened, and I was trying to let go of the anger and focus on the positives (because the glass IS always half-full, you know!) these particular lyrics were ringing in my head:

I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone
God, I need you to hold on to me

I can be pretty strong, but there are definitely times when my strength alone just isn't enough, and I think this is one of them. When I sat and watched my husband and kids suffer for so long, it is extremely difficult to not be filled with anger for the person that caused it. I am trying with all my heart and soul to turn it over to God, but it is not easy. If there was ever a time I needed God's help, this is it. I can NOT do this by myself. I have to have His help or the anger will consume me. I have been working on this all day, and will continue to work on it for a very long time! I am trying to focus on the positive aspects of this (half-full...half-full...half-full), but it takes constant reminders and concious efforts to change my thoughts throughout the day. And, I know Matt is fighting the same battle, because we have talked about it several times today. When we just didn't have an explanation for why he was sick, that was OK. But, now that we know this whole thing could have been avoided....well, let's just say we need your prayers to help us reach a level of peace with this!

When you are praying today, please tell God, "Thanks!" for the fact that it was only a reaction to a medicine that caused this! The thought of going through this again is mind-numbing, and I am SO thankful that I now know that I don't have to worry about that! Please also tell Him, "Thanks!" that Workman's Comp has accepted the financial responsibility for this! That is such a HUGE weight off of our shoulders! I really didn't know how we would ever be able to pay all of these bills. Then, find at least 10 more things to thank Him for. We still need help with a lot of things, but right now I want to make sure He gets thanked for everything He has blessed us (and you) with before we make any more requests! (Thank you, Joyce Meyer Ministries for the suggestion!) God is great, and I want to make sure I keep that in mind, even when the storms are raging!!