Today has been an emotional one. It started off this morning when the doctor came in and said that Matt's liver enzymes rose again. This pretty much makes the liver biopsy on Monday inevitable. Needless to say, Matt's spirits have been very down today. A visit from Lindsay helped for awhile, but staring at these 4 walls day in and day out is getting to him.
I left for awhile to go watch Chelsea play volleyball. It was great while it lasted! But, for some reason, leaving them REALLY got me today. Blake didn't want to leave, and got pretty upset. Usually, I can maintain when he does that, but today I lost it. Then, I hugged Chelsea, and both of us lost it. Ditto when I hugged my mom. I was crying like a baby when I got in my car and left, and for awhile after that. I try really hard not to break down in front of Matt or the kids, but today I just couldn't help it. Ever since then, I've been a little blah myself. I guess it's necessary to let down every once in awhile, But, I also know that their emotional state is directly effected by mine. I try to stay positive and upbeat as much as I can, but I think that the reality that holiday traditions, like decorating the tree, are going to have to happen without him this year is really getting to me. I just want this all to be over. I want them to find out what is wrong with him, treat him, and send us home, so we can all get back to our lives!
Please continue to pray for us. To be honest, prayer is the only thing keeping me going right now. I am so thankful to have the faith that I have, as I think I would have crumbled by now without it....we all would have. I think right now, we need prayers to stay positive, strong, and uplifted more than anything else. But ANY prayer for ANYTHING related to ANY of us is greatly appreciated!
I left for awhile to go watch Chelsea play volleyball. It was great while it lasted! But, for some reason, leaving them REALLY got me today. Blake didn't want to leave, and got pretty upset. Usually, I can maintain when he does that, but today I lost it. Then, I hugged Chelsea, and both of us lost it. Ditto when I hugged my mom. I was crying like a baby when I got in my car and left, and for awhile after that. I try really hard not to break down in front of Matt or the kids, but today I just couldn't help it. Ever since then, I've been a little blah myself. I guess it's necessary to let down every once in awhile, But, I also know that their emotional state is directly effected by mine. I try to stay positive and upbeat as much as I can, but I think that the reality that holiday traditions, like decorating the tree, are going to have to happen without him this year is really getting to me. I just want this all to be over. I want them to find out what is wrong with him, treat him, and send us home, so we can all get back to our lives!
Please continue to pray for us. To be honest, prayer is the only thing keeping me going right now. I am so thankful to have the faith that I have, as I think I would have crumbled by now without it....we all would have. I think right now, we need prayers to stay positive, strong, and uplifted more than anything else. But ANY prayer for ANYTHING related to ANY of us is greatly appreciated!
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