We all have people that don't like us. We all probably even have people who would say that they "hate" us. We all have people who talk badly about us behind our backs, try to turn others against us, or try to damage our reputation. You may even have people in your life who go so far as to try to hurt you as much as they can whenever possible. It really is amazing how vindictive and spiteful people can be. But...I can't really judge them because I have done all of those things before more times than I care to admit. If someone wronged me, hurt me, talked about me behind my back, or just treated me badly in general, I was the first one to put the "eye for an eye" rule into place. If you hurt me, I'll hurt you back. If you damage my reputation, I'll damage yours.
But not anymore...
Over the last few years, I have become painfully aware that I was NOT responding to my "enemies" in an appropriate way. Sure, it made me feel better temporarily. But, long term...what did I accomplish? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! Except, at some point, it just made me feel worse.
In the last few months, Matt and I have reached a point in our lives where we turn to the bible when we aren't sure how to handle a situation. So, the last couple days, we have spent probably 2-3 hours reading scripture and discussing how to respond to someone who hurts you. (And I mean REALLY hurts you!) From all of our reading, I have landed on four things listed in the bible that God is VERY clear that He wants us to do, and one that is inferred from the countless places in the bible where He talks about how much He loves us and how He wants to bless our lives. The scripture that I'm referring to is this:
But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. ~Luke 6:27-28
The first thing God wants us to do is to love our enemies. I know, I know, this seems impossible to do. I am trying, but I don't know if I'm quite there yet. I just keep praying that God will show me how He wants me to love the people who are my "enemies." The funny thing is, the more I pray for Him to show me how to love them, the less bitter and angry I feel toward them. I may not be ready to love them just yet, but God is getting me there! And, if I keep praying about it every day, eventually I will be able to love them like He wants me to!
The second thing God asks of us is do good to those who hate us. Again...seems impossible! All they do is tear me down EVERY time they get the opportunity, and I'm supposed to do good to them??? Well...YES!!! That's exactly what God is calling us to do! He wants action from us. He doesn't just want us to change our thoughts about those people, but He wants us to change our actions as well. Now, I don't know about you, but I read this and immediately thought, "But no matter what I do, they will throw it back in my face or turn it around to make it look bad on me somehow." Or..."No matter what I do, this relationship will NOT get any better! In fact, anything I do towards this person will probably make it worse!" All of that may be true. But, here's the reality of things: We do not control how someone else reacts to us. We control how we treat them. He will judge us for our own actions, not their reactions. So, He wants us to do good to them, whether that kindness is well-received or not. Again, I am still struggling with this one, but I am working on it and praying about it!
The third thing God wants us to do is bless those who curse us. This one has been the easiest one for me to internalize. Every time those particular people pop into my head in a negative way, I immediately say a prayer for God to bless them. "God, please bless ______." I say it over and over again, until my negative thoughts are gone. So, I'm really accomplishing two things. First, I am lifting that person up in prayer, asking God to bless them. Second, I am taking away my own opportunity to sit and stew over what they have done to me. I am removing the bitterness and anger before they can really take hold of me. I am focusing on God instead of focusing on the pain and hurt. And, I'm not gonna lie...it is really making a difference for me!
The fourth thing God is asking us to do in this scripture is to pray for those who mistreat us. Again, this has been a little easier for me to do. If I am praying for them instead of dwelling on how angry I am or how badly I was hurt, I am not nearly as likely to get bitter and angry. Plus, praying for the people who are trying to tear me down keeps my focus on God and what He wants me to do, rather than simply following the path my emotions would lead me down.
Now, all that being said, I think there is a 5th thing that is very important for us to understand. We can love our enemies, do good to those who hate us, bless those who curse us, and pray for those who mistreat us without allowing those same people to continue to hurt us. God does not want us to be hurt. He does not want us to be mistreated. He does not want us to be controlled by our enemies. This is why the fifth thing we need to do is establish very clear boundaries in our relationships with these people to keep them from continuously hurting us over and over and over. We have to look at the situation very closely and figure out exactly where those boundaries need to be drawn so that we protect ourselves from the physical, emotional, or spiritual blows that they may be throwing at us. God may want us to forgive and love those who hurt us, but that doesn't mean we have to say, "I forgive you, now do it again and I'll forgive you again."
I am trying really hard to put these things into practice. But...it is not easy! The problem is, now that I am aware that this is what God wants me to do, I can NOT ignore it. I have to do my best to follow each of these things every single day. Some are easier than others, but I am making a true effort to do ALL of them. And, I really hope you can do the same thing! But, don't do it because I told you to. Go into the bible yourself. Read the scripture for yourself. Think about it, chew on it, research it, talk to people about it, and see what conclusion you come to. Then, act on it!
If you come to the same conclusion I did...let me know! I'd love to hear about it! And...if you come to a different conclusion than I did, let me know that, too!! This is very close to my heart right now, I would love to hear about it if you have a different spin on all of this!
No comments:
Post a Comment