So, I've really been thinking a lot about something lately. Why do people in general find so much pleasure in talking about other people? I know you have noticed that. Practically everyone does it. Sometimes it it harmless...simply discussing things we've seen or done with others. But, more often than not, it is full blown gossip. When we hear something, we run and tell someone else, especially if the we've heard something "newsworthy." The problem with this is that SO many people get hurt because of things that are said, especially when those things aren't true.
Recently, I've been involved (in one way or another) in three different situations where gossip was running rampant. Two of these situations aren't really things I want to go into detail about, but I can tell you that the rumors that were circulating were extremely hurtful, damaging, and potentially life-altering for the people whose lives were being put on display. The third situation is the rumor mill at school. The old saying, "telegram, telephone, tell-a-teacher" is SO true!! And, this time of year is always the worst! Everyone is specualting about who is leaving, who is staying, and who is changing grades. It's no secret anymore that I've applied for a transfer to another school. It has also become common knowledge that I had an interview last week at a school closer to home. And, although it hasn't gotten back to me yet, it's probably now also well known that I did not get offered that position. All three of these things are factual, so (at least to my knowledge) there aren't any false rumors about me going around. But, I was really amazed at how quickly the news spread. Yes, I told a handful of people what my plans were. So, I am fine with them knowing. That's why I told them. But when people who I almost never see and rarely talk to are asking my student teacher, "Did Stephanie hear if she got that job yet?" I was really bothered.
First of all, it's my business to tell, not someone else's. It's not that I don't want people to know. It's just that I would like to have some level of control over who knows the in's and out's of what's going on in my life. Secondly, gossip that starts out as the truth never stays that way. It always mutates and almost takes on a life of its own. At some point, the rumor mill will be spreading information that is not true at all, if that hasn't happened already. It just doesn't feel good to know that people are talking about you behind your back.
Now...I will be the first to admit that I have been guilty of this myself. But, I will also tell you that I have really been making a concious effort to avoid it. If someone tells me something in confidence, I tell no one. If I hear information second hand, I don't pass it along. If I hear something straight from the source, and the source is OK with me sharing it, I will if I am asked. But, I really try not to go running around telling everyone I see everything I hear. It just isn't right.
I guess I just wish everyone would be a little more aware of who they might be hurting with what they are saying. We teach our students to differentiate between fact and opinion, fantasy and reality. We teach our children that "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." So, my question is....
If we can teach our students and children these lessons, why do we have such a hard time with them ourselves???
The bottom line is, I don't get bogged down in what people are saying about me. I know who I am and what I stand for. I know what is going on in my life and I make sure the people close to me know as well. I know that my God sees me for who I am, and He NEVER joins a gossip train or rumor mill! His opinion is #1, my family's is #2, and my friends' is #3. Anyone else's opinion, quite franlky, just doesn't matter.
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. ~Proverbs 16:28
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~Ephesians 4:29
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